Just Before You Judge.

Well... I’m now a doctor. I‘ve not always been this polished or stylish. I had the looks but back then... it was clouded by the clothes I went without and the neighbourhood I grew up in. My friends were not any different. We were the perfect troop. For some reason, we found the outdoors extremely exciting and I remember very clearly how the usual afternoons after school played out. The neighbour’s children, I and a few others who lived down the street would often venture into the streets. Words had it that money could be made and ‘kids’ what do we know? We tagged along. Almost ten of us would daily sneak out from home to wash windshields of cars on the road and this got more exciting by the day. The angry faced driver threatening, the hawker almost pushing off his market space and the reckless motorists all created a blend of dangerous pleasure that we all looked forward to. It was merely our way of making a little bit extra to spend on lunch breaks but not everyone understood; most especially the insensitive folks who often called us names; insulted our parents and cursed our future. Those made me cry.

I wouldn’t say my parents were entirely oblivious; they were quite satisfied as long as we came home each night and went to school every morning. They saw it all as children having fun. A little background of my family may help: my dad was a driver to a manager at a local bank and my mum had a stall pitched right in front of our self contained apartment. My siblings, 5 in total had now become just 3 due to an epidemic of measles that claimed the lives of the twins when they were barely a year old.

My dad had always been an angry man who did nothing but hurl words at my mother and a philandering one also who occasionally displayed a bit of violence which he has until this day denied. His father had been an alcoholic and his mum had simply stayed for the sake of her children. He grew up in an abusive home and I guess of his siblings, he took after his old man –a milder version I think because he never took to drinking and often spoke of the evil it’s capable of.

My mum on the other hand grew up almost like orphans do -repressed. Standing up for oneself was an alien concept. She and her brother were raised by an uncle in another town whose wife saw them as threats and accordingly, relegated them to eating left-overs, not being able to touch anything in the house, sitting on special chairs usually at the corner close to the kitchen and eating from marked cutlery and bowls. “It could have been worse” she always told herself but was grateful that at least, she and her brother got to attend elementary school. My mum was labelled the ‘foodie’ in her secondary school days but no one knew she was never handed any provisions and as such, had to solely rely on the boarding house food if she was to eat anything at all. My mum simply wanted to feel like she belonged somewhere; for her, having a family of her own was essential.

All these are in the past now. My parents live in a 3bed apartment my siblings and I rented out for them. The fights have eased up and I owe this to the more comfortable living situation they now enjoy. My siblings and I are doing remarkably well in our chosen fields. God must have heard the prayers of our father who always uttered words like ‘’these children will be greater than I ever was’’

So dear reader... before you judge and hurl insults at that child who looks so unkempt and probably constituting a nuisance, remember that it is his now that you see. Before you judge the abusive father who is also aware of his failed attempts at being the perfect role model, a prayer would suffice and before you cuss out the woman who allows herself be abused, ask what her story could have been...

We all have a story; we all have a future. Never despise people today because ‘today’ is the only bit we can all see.

Another Random One

The sun has been out for days now…did someone say yaaayyy…! Oh yes, I did! This is a totally random post by the way.

This weather has made me super tired and dehydrated but I’d resist the urge to complain because I remember praying for the sun to come out when it was pouring the other week. This weekend has been relaxing though, I did nothing but sleep and eat :D.

Since I wrote my half year report, I haven’t read any additional book(s); maybe I spoke to soon... Oh well...! I have however bought a few more and I hope to start soonish.

I'm very busy at work these days and I’m sorry if I haven’t kept in touch with people in the last month... I know work shouldn’t be an excuse and isn’t a good enough one either but all the same, I apologise. I’ve also been having fun to be honest…graduation parties, bridal showers and what not. All you brides please get married at random times of the year other than summer, ***the expenses are too much and some of us are not executives yet...hehe :D 

You know the saying - ‘the prayers of my mother keep me going’ - it really does and I thank her for her prayers… I just love her, she’s an amazing soul.  My dad always makes me want to be better and I thank him for being a teacher, a protector and my first love. I pray I find a man like him although in this generation that may just be wishful thinking cos he is unique in every sense of the word.

I’ve been excited about the Olympics *not* all the road closures and traffic can be some sort annoying, scratch that, it is definitely annoying!! I have to get the bus to work tomorrow…which means I have to set out earlier! (annoying much)

I just realised it's impractical to trust people overnight but in my opinion trust comes with consistency on their path and their ability to stand by and act out without fail the values they've professed - is that a bad thing?!?  Consequently, I raised the bar for trust after a number of unpleasant experiences with people (both male and female). Very random stuff ay?!

Did y’all know there’s a difference between great love and right love?!? Hmmmn a thot for a blog post. 


Have a beautiful week people! 

Get A Life Chris!

Well hello hello, I was inspired to write this post because I’ve been asking myself and maybe a few other people why married men get attracted to young single ladies. I know some people think that’s an easy answer but really is it?!? When I was younger, people played it out as though girls threw themselves at married men because they wanted them to take care of them and of course if I didn’t get to experience this myself, I might have just had that same thought. I mean you are appropriately dressed or even dressed down (not looking your best), and a married man with kids not only compliments you but also makes a pass at you. Seriously do I have written on my forehead saying ‘if you are married with kids holla’. It bugs me and really creeps me out like urrrggghhh that’s just so disgusting. Anyhoo without going into details here it goes. 


My name is Chris and I am happily married but that depends on your definition of ‘happily married’. My definition of those words are Blessed with a beautiful woman I can provide for and two beautiful twin girls. But in the real sense of the word, I have not felt 'happy' for the past 3 years of my marriage. I got married to Vanessa 3 years ago at a beautiful church in Rome, it was one of a kind as people we cherished graced us with their presence; I mean it was just amazing marrying this beautiful woman. 


Prior to the wedding Van as I fondly called her was living in America and I was over here in England, we were classmates at college before she got a brilliant job in America. She randomly added me on facebook some 6 years down the line. We chatted a number of times and in no time, it was clear that we were both single and ready to mingle (her more than myself, I think). I quickly became fond of her as we chatted on yahoo messenger all day everyday. I must say she was almost like a superwoman. She made out time for me amidst her busy schedule. Thing is, Van kinda grew on me. She was very caring, paid attention when I needed her to, she knew how to make me laugh and also how to get me in touch with my feminine side. 


My parents had just the two of us, my sister and I and I am 6 years older than she is. There was some pressure from them to settle down so they could see grand kids and what not. I was 35 at the time and it just seemed like the right thing to do -most of my friends were married anyway. I visited Van in America 3 months after we got talking and bam! I knew she was the one I was meant to spend my life with. We were in a relationship within a month of emails and calls but that visit put the icing on the cake. I made an effort to take days off work to see her in New York and by the 5th month I proposed to Van on her 34th birthday. Story of how we got hitched! God blessed us with two beautiful identical twin girls who we named Ivana and Jessica. 


I don’t know where we lost it, I don’t know when happy left us or who took it away from us, all I know is happy or happily married (if u choose) dissipated. It all started when a new intern at work resumed. She reported directly to me and it was my responsibility to train her. I wasn’t attracted to her physically from the get go but she also grew on me. Sola the new intern was smart, she knew how to calm me down when I was angry - if I was shouting on the phone or getting into it with a colleague all she needed to do was make a face and I would get myself together. She would make sure I ate lunch (this sometimes involved her spending her money). The nature of my job meant I got home pretty late when Van and the kids were asleep. But then, Sola’s character and gesture just started making me realise Vanessa’s flaws. Dinner wasn’t waiting on the table, I would wash both our cars in the weekend and tidy up the house, I would also spend time with all 3 beautiful women in the weekends but Van didn’t seem appreciative. She was always nagging about things she needed me to get done and people she didn’t want me to have as friends. Her flaws just became too obvious. 


You see, Van was an American citizen and she helped me with my residential documentation and even with job applications. I really do cherish her for that. But I still don’t know where we lost it. I also didn’t know when I started showing Sola at work that I was now fond of her. 


Sola was a genuinely kind and caring girl. She knew I was married with kids and I must stress that she didn’t make passes at me. She asked after my wife and kids constantly and even when we talked about her personal life she wouldn’t hesitate to talk about the guy she has been with for 3 years. I started pecking her as a greeting and I could tell she thought it weird but I was falling in love with her so I didn’t mind. The day I realised I loved her was when I lifted her up at work and spun her round. Oh Lawd! she was so mad and I’m sure she would have reported me to HR if she could. I started calling her ‘baby girl’ and Sola started withdrawing; she became so… mean. She started calling me ‘sir’ and responding with ‘yes boss’ furthermore avoiding me in the mornings so as to avoid my pecks.

 I found myself missing her even when we were in the same office. She was still very professional in doing her job and this is not a biased view because people at work were still commenting on the intern doing a fantastic job. I really wanted to understand why she wasn’t going with the flow of the vibe we had. Sometimes she would still speak to me, get me tea, water, and oh yes lunch. How could someone be this caring and still keep it so professional I often wondered. I started wishing I had waited 3 more years to meet Sola, instead of marrying Van. But you know I am a man and I can be stupid. Would I have ever met Sola if not for Van’s help through the years? Am I so sure that Sola will be my soul mate based on this feeling I have? What if I did the same thing to Sola years down the line (you know the whole fall in love with someone else)?! I told a friend the other day about her and I was so shocked when I said in the moment “I regret getting married to Vanessa”. My friend’s comment almost hit home but not quite when he said ‘Sola has the 20% Vanessa doesn’t”. He advised that ‘to find my happy I need to find out the 80% Van has and keep remembering the vow I made to her’. For me to say I regret marrying Van, can she really have an 80? I can tell you that I will literally cross the ocean for Sola but I will only be an ingrate to Van and a foolish man to Ivana and Jessica. 


This is my lil note for Sola, I love you so very much and every time I see you my heart can’t help but smile. I’m happy even if it hurts that you are doing the right thing -at least one of us is sensible enough.

Half Year Report

Hey Hey... Hope your week so far has been good? ...or better still, great! I remember the new year like it was only yesterday; my birthday like it was only two seconds ago and I mean that literally. Point is, the year 2012 is going by sooo fast, clocks always ticking; waiting for no one! 
I'm quite aware that while a number of people made new year resolutions, some did not (some just like myself). I also remember putting up a post about 'resolutions' and 'realizing your dreams' in 2012. Well... it's half of the year already and I took sometime out to reflect and appraise myself on the things I set for myself to do in 2012. Believe me, I still have a lot to do! I've completed a few and although the list staring me in the face looks astonishingly unending; I still have 6 months of time and I hope to use it more effectively than I had done in the previous half. 

The main goal for me this year was and is to be a better person on the overall by the end of the year. I dare say it's been the toughest part so far because the more I strive to be better, the more I realise there's still a lot to be accomplished. But not to worry, habits aren't broken in a day neither can sustainable change happen overnight. I am indeed pleased with myself so far... enough to pat myself on the back. 

I have learnt to be patient (and still learning... because patience is one of those attributes you need to constantly practice being that the world is full of angry, broken and insensitive people). I would never have thought myself to be the impatient type but it's the same thing the thief said before he was thrown a test.lol Unlike any other, my unique test was work! A typical day for me is labelled 'rush hour 6.' I mean..., as soon as I step out the front door I have many reasons to be in a haste, I walk so fast one would think I were late for a meeting, I run up the escalators at stations and often wonder why people with long legs drag their feet like they have no where to go. It was a process fast becoming a habit and I really had to learn how to take a deep breath and take things in strides. I'm not quite spot on yet but in comparison to last year, I have most certainly made some reasonable improvement (Well done Ebony!!). 

Someone once told me that "growing up is a trap!" As a matter of fact, it is. Nobody told me that life gets more challenging when you start working; I would have easily done a P.hd after my post graduate degree had I known *smiles*. If you are still studying, stay there for as long as you can (or better still, enjoy it while it lasts).  I have come to learn how to tolerate all sort of things. I have learnt to tolerate my colleagues, manage my managers and even smile with the customers who are perceived as incapable of doing wrong. I am proud to say that I have never gotten into verbal or any other form of combat with a customer, colleague or manager. 

In the face of betrayal, I have learnt to trust God more. It's not been an easy task but it is at such times that I have come to realize that God is indeed infallible and dependable. Sometime as humans we expect so much from people and when we don't get it we feel betrayed, used, manipulated *insert a word* However we are all humans and with our imperfections come the inevitable erring. Expectations should be high enough to culture growth but at the same time, we ought to be gentle while correcting and swift in forgiving. Always remember that you can't please everyone and not everybody will like you. If everybody does, then something is wrong and I suggest you find one enemy to keep you on the alert. 

I have been reading a lot this year as well. A list of the books include:
Half of a yellow sun (amazeballs)Grand Canyon (boring.com) The Alchemist ( I really want to go on a date with Paulo Coelho and I mean that)Eleven Minutes ( my favourite book of Paulo Coelho..although I haven't read all his books )By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept ( Paulo Coelho rocks no joke) Convicted not Condemned ( brilliant )

I am at the moment reading a 2-part series called "the Negotiator and the Guardian" ...and I have also just got a book called "Love, Freedom and Aloneness".

So many things to update you on but I can't type it all. Life is too short, try not to leave the important words unsaid and also remember to fight for your dreams, they'll in turn fight for you too. Enjoy the rest of the week. And I love my new template 

A Minute Too Long

Hellloooo... I cannot apologise enough for not blogging in a while. Just as I was getting better, I slipped up again. I would have done the usual that is; blogged on my phone without sharing, but I can safely announce that I haven't even as much as typed anything since the last time. 

This has been the busiest month at work, but I remain so thankful for such an opportunity and to think that I could never have imagined myself doing what I do.

However, work is the main reason why I haven't written anything. For real, I have no social life cos all I want to do in the weekend is SLEEEEEEPPPP. 

So here's a little note apologising for not writing; it's a big part of my life and I should take it as serious as I take sleep (one of my other interests...lol). I've been writing for the longest of time and I most certainly would only get better by writing some more.

Happy Birthday Adebukola words cannot describe how much I love you, God bless your beautiful heart. 

Black Sunday: June 3rd 2012

I am sure most people are aware of the bombing in the church at Bauchi (Nigeria) that killed 12 yesterday, the cargo plane crash in Accra (Ghana), and the Dana flight that crashed into a residential area in Lagos (Nigeria). A number of my non-Nigerian friends asked why a lot of people had the candle light as their display pictures and personal messages. It was indeed a black sunday as some people called it; so so sad because as much as some of us might not know anyone that died in the crash and bombing directly/personally; we are all still connected in a way -let's face it! We somehow, know someone who knows someone who knew someone who was a victim.  

I was having a conversation with my cousins and later on a friend. We spoke about both incidents and on how ludicrous and sad it is that most airlines that fly locally in Nigeria purchase second-hand airplanes. To be honest, this was merely a generalisation, because we have heard of similar being done in the past. However, the images shown last night on CNN only made it easier to think that way (that plane looked old). No word of a lie, I played the blame game. If we had a government that wasn't so selfish; if we had a government that didn't have their head up their a***s, then surely that plane crash could have been avoidable. I mean, in a country where security is a number one concern; where you go to church and you have to pray that your church is not the next to go up in flames.... all Mr.President can do is to wake up one Tuesday morning to declare a name change for several universities. Misplaced priorities dont you think? -you can't help but point fingers at first. 

Further thought on this, all I could do was ponder... "are WE any different from the so called government that I had earlier blamed?" This thought was fuelled by the number of social media messages I had seen. One of which pointed out that the same plane had been used twice but landed only by the grace of God (not going into details). Without mincing words, it is quite obvious that the average Nigerian is selfish. It is easy to blame our corruptible government by asking questions like why are written off planes allowed to leave the runways?!? *Recounting all other incidences of past mayhem*. 


It is clear and fair to say that someone (an individual) must have approved the buying of the aircraft and probably made some cash off it as well? Someone used that faulty plane some weeks ago, and probably thanked God they landed safe, gave a testimony wherever and carried on with life without as much as bothering to inform the necessary authorities, or potential future passengers of the state of the aircraft.

All I am saying is: 'as Nigerians we need to look out for each other'. For once, care about the next person not being overly concerned about whether or not they are our families, friends or tribesmen. We keep blaming the government, but the government is 'Nigerian' if that makes sense - It's a selfish individual like you and me. When last have you been willing to help another? Or know the consequences of something but decide to make that your own testimony and not another's? We sometimes fail each other without realising that it's because of our selfish intents. We need to know that change would not come to the government if the individual refuses change. It is not a lot to ask for because truly, we are the Nigerian government; we need to be accountable as well. 

My heart goes out to the families and friends of the victims, may God console and comfort you on every side. May all victims rest in God's peace

Random Much

Well hello hello! Hope y'all had a wonderful week? Mine was a bit long but it was good and my heart is filled with joy and gladness because God has been totally amazing.

Yesterday two years ago I lost my grandma and it was a tough time for my families, I'm thankful that we've grown stronger since then. I have written and said this in the past "no one can steal the memory of her love from us and no one can heal the hurt". She was the greatest woman I knew/know, with a beautiful soul. I have so much to tell my readers but I'm not ready to share some things just yet but hopefully soon I would be able to write about somethings.

Anyhoo, I was inspired to write this post when I opened 'The Entertainer' magazine. It's a Nigerian Magazine like 'Ovation' and the 'Hello's' of London. A Colleague brought it to work and I decided to look through after work...

I'm not the best of writers out there not even close to being one of the best but I try to read and proof-read before I put up a post. I use short forms cos it is not a professional blog. However, reading some articles and interviews in this mag, it was safe to come to a conclusion that there was absolutely no editing and if indeed an editor existed, it was certainly a poorly done job; cos I would think people pay to read for substance and quality. You know..., It was simple errors such as "How do you meet your wife" as opposed to "did". I mean... just the little details that add the hmmph to a good read.

One interview in particular that caught my eye was that of a married couple who had dated for 6 years and were being interviewed about how they met, the sort of advise they'd give to other couples blah blah blah. Without being condescending, the very question that got me was "how did u know she was the one and how did u propose?" The husband replied, "We had dated for 6 years and it was the right thing to do, I didn't have to propose. Her parents knew me, my parents knew her so there it was at the right time we did the introduction and the rest is history. The bride's reply was "We don't always go with the western culture, we just knew marriage was the next thing, he didn't propose we planned the wedding for a year or more"

One thing every one is entitled to is their own opinion and this is mine - feel free to differ. 6 years of dating doesn't mean the right thing to do is get married. If my future husband were asked that question and gave an answer as silly as these two I would be very furious. In fact there is no way he would be saying that...lololol that's just a silly imagination. Why wouldn't a man say something like "I knew she was the one because before I met her, I thought my world had everything I needed to be happy and when she walked into my life, everything changed and I realised how empty my world was without her in it as my old life was no longer capable of making me happy without her" Yes I love romantic guys and I've got lines hehe: there's never a boring moment with them.

On the other hand, the girl should have said something like" I knew he was the one because he is the most unique person I have yet met and I knew I wanted to see the world through his eyes cos he challenges me and loves me in a way no one ever has...I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life without him" or something... Comon' I felt this was a weak answer for a newly wed in my opinion. I mean, isn't it meant to be the time u are kinda love drunk or something of that sort and answers are meant to be cheesy, funny, and cute.

Two, I am in no way saying a marriage without proposal is bad, but we live in the 21st century and as much as we have and stick to our traditions; there are some things we should get accustomed to e.g. Proposals. Yes you can both know you want to be together forever but guys should propose. Future husband had better be close friends with my sister, she'll tell you the right buttons to push. Truth is, just as my parents and theirs before them had tons of stories to tell about their very romantic beginnings, I refuse to allow that tradition end with me :D. 

Ms. Ebony, How Was Your Night?!?

How was your night? Hmmm....

I got the inspiration to write this from my very own April Laugh. I have noticed that quite a number of people ask me this question (I don't want to be specific) but i'll say it 's common among Nigerians. I don’t find this question annoying, offensive or rude. I simply want you to be patient with me when you ask the question and careful to listen as I relate the response back to you. Most people ask this question not particularly 'cos they want to know, but 'cos it seems polite to ask before jumping in to the subject of the conversation. They ask and expect to get back responses such as 'good', 'fine', or 'ok'.. And most often than not, they don't want to hear u say 'bad' or go into detail about ur night because they aren't as patient and even worse, it will kill the essence of their chat which would probably at this time become less about them and more about you.

I don't like the question much cos I find it somesort intrusive and eliciting a lot of detail (which probably isn't my business anyways) as opposed to 'did you sleep well'? Then again the normal Good morning, how are you? ...and work? may yet be better options.

A few weeks ago, a friend called me around 10am and after the usual greetings, she popped the question 'How was your night?' before I could say it was 'good' or make any comment at all she started a whole new conversation. At that point I was confused, cos I sort of noticed this trend with a few other people. Do people ask this question because they think it’s a compliment? Or they just ask it out of having nothing to say? Or they just want to seem polite? I would really like to understand the concept behind this fad.

I’ll love to reply my dear friend now: and this is me going a little over board explaining how that night was...

‘‘Thanks B for asking! My night was one of a kind, a good one as well. But wait! What time does my night start again? When I get home from work or after I have had supper?

Either ways, I'll start from when I got off work...I got on the 7.26pm train from work and got home round about 8.16pm. I started this whole eating healthy habits or rather healthy eating habits :) where I don't eat after 8 o'clock. But it was past 8 and I kept contemplating to eat or not to eat? I turned on the TV  flipped the channels and tried to watch some news but my mind wasn't listening. I decided to get on skype with my cousin, and after about an hour I remembered I had lunch at 1.30pm so it wasn't exactly wise not to have something for supper. It was a few minutes to 10 and my cousin made me feel better about eating late (better late than never ay !)  or rather how wise when I could have had a smaller portion around 8.30 ?!? After the much contemplated meal, I spent about 2 hours reading a book "convicted or condemned" (amazeballs.com) and decided it was time to head off to bed. "At least, most of my food would have digested" (I thought). I said my prayers and off I was in dreamland.

I forgot to close me laptop so at about 3.40am I was woken up by a call on skype I would have attended to it but I couldn't be bothered as I knew it couldn't be an emergency neither was it a love interest...

I think that was about it that night... (the night u asked me about). So dear reader, how was your night?  Honestly??

I usually don't ask cos I'm not patient enough to listen so I'd rather ask and be asked instead, "Did you sleep well?"

Life Goals'

I was having a talk with my friend the other day when I said “you know.... it’s funny how just a few percentage of individuals have a vision and how the majority simply work towards making that dream happen for them”. I know a good number of us will probably end up working for others and that’s not bad in itself.

For me, it’s always been about being happy: being a part of something bigger than myself and being able to impact lives however I can. I figured that not all work environments would be compatible with this goal or will even be able to provide the sense of fulfilment that I require. I understand that for me it had never being a case of wanting to be an entrepreneur or setting up my own firm but it’s been instead more of having a career in a place where I feel valued and involved. A place where my every idea counts: where I’m not just seen but heard; where I can whistle blow on a malpractice and be supported; where I can balance both work and family. 


One where Sundays aren’t dreadful and Fridays aren’t ‘tgif’ inspired. You may wonder if such a place exists. I’m unsure myself but deep down in my heart, I have a place in mind. I’m fuelled by a passion for it and I know it would only but work for me. That’s been my dream and although you may consider it not daring enough, I'm glad it’s not yours but mine :D. Have a lovely week y'all God bless you 

I'll Remember This!

Wooohooo...! Its Thursday...the week went by sooooo fast. It was my birthday on Saturday and I had fun... *huge grin* The initial plan was to wake up, watch some tv and stay home all day.. But all plans failed

For all those who cussed me out shortly after reading my wish list, I suggest you get a blind fold 'cos you won't be happy reading this :) .."I believe in miracles" I most certainly do

Of the 5 wishes I made, 3 got answered... not counting the one gift which I have been promised and still yet to recieve.... Hehe. I received the luxury gift card, the perfume and the wristwatch... The spa is a pending gift scheduled for this month so let's say I got that too which makes it four out of five.  I'm so grateful to God, to be honest, I have everything I need. I have an absolutely amazing family that inspire me, great friends some of whom are like family, a good job I love and an amazing life. What more can a girl ask for ay!

Anyways, random thoughts and I thought to share.

Ever read the book half of a yellow sun.... ?? If you haven't you certainly should! Chimamanda is a brilliant writer - a fine combination of beauty and brains. Then again, there's a film adaptation of the book... Amazeballs. I so can't wait to see it!

That awkward moment when ur train buddy starts making passes at you *sigh everything else changes. Yeah... My train buddy. What ever happened to just being cool friends? We talk about the news, the silly train services, the rude inspectors, the differences in job roles....HR and other random talks *smh* now so awkward

My friend's boo is in the army and when he's off for training, she doesn't just miss him....I miss him for her too (That's a Hero).

Finally... I got a writing gig. I'm extremely flattered of course! Not to worry,  I'll keep u posted when my first article gets published *smiles* ...and oh, its a paid job. *stoked*.  And of course I'll still be blogging on here -this is mine! 

I Believe In Miracles

Go Ebony It's your birthday *oh no not yet*... it's in a few days tho, on saturday to be precise. I have written my birthday wish list and have also decided to share. I've realised that the older I get, the less gifts I get. Thank God it hasn't resorted to no gifts at all but with the way its going I can only sigh. Really what's up with that?!? Are my friends and toasters broke or they are just being stingy?!? 

Not to worry people I've been praying for you lot because I want to get presents like I was 18 again.lol. I'm so thankful to God for the journey so far. To make things easier for y'all I have decided to post my wish list ;) :d

I am a gadget person or rather, I used to be...Need I say more...who doesn't want one?!? You can get one online by clicking www.apple.com

"Purity Spa is the place to relieve stress and tension. From pampering massage treatments to mini spa experiences, our treatments are designed to leave guests feeling pampered and in a state of total relaxation". Its my birthday and I want to be pampered. Wouldn't it be lovely to do the needful?!? To make a booking, please call Purity Spa on 020 7096 6241.

Awww I wouldn't have a list without a perfume in it. As some of you may know, I have a weakness for perfumes and wrist watches. 

A bottle of this 50ml (pls) will be great. Which brings me to upload the wristwatch I fancy :D. I have a red one, a silver and a gold one, on the road to the completion of my collection. 

Its Michael Kors and no, it's not the two wristwatches; one will be just fine.

Finally *drumroll please*

A luxury gift card (y) ;) not just from any store. Emphasis on the word "luxury"

That's about it for my birthday, isn't it such a short list?!? ;;). Like the title of this post I believe in miracles :)

Favourite Best Dates

Well hello there...! I was on a mini holiday; Fun, sunshine and more fun... anyways, its over now *holiday blues much* and it's left me dreaming about my next holiday and destination. Moving on, sequel to my previous post, below are the best dates ever which have been selected from the replies I received. May I add, I wouldn't hesitate to gloat about my own very best date :p 

'It was my birthday last year and I had been seeing my boyfriend for barely three months at the time. I obviously wasn't expecting anything grand seeing as it was all new and fresh. He gave me my gifts early that morning and went off to work. He's some sort a workaholic but on that day he was home by 6pm. He said to get dressed and we went to a restaurant on the sea...and watched the sun set *thanks to day light savings* we ate, talked and there were more gifts (cheesy much). I was just so impressed by his actions. He also got the live band in the restaurant to play me something. You just don't expect some things and I didn't expect that from someone I had only known for 4 months' 

'I went on a work trip to America for 2 weeks...and before the end of day 4 I was already cranky as these clients were super annoying. I coudn't wait to get back to the boo as the whole time difference thing wasnt working in my favour.... I mean, 'dude' can sleep to save a life so I was the one loosing sleep. Trust me, I was way past cranky and certainly beyond PMSing. On saturday I woke up early to call the boo to my surprise both his phones were off, he wasn't on skype, facetime or iChat. That happened for the whole of Saturday *you don't even want to imagine how upset I was* On sunday I called his mum and she knew not where he was yh yh say what you like but I was worried now. Anyways, my colleagues and a friend of mine in Jersey persuaded me to go for lunch with them on sunday and you know the rest but to cut it short the boo was there and he proposed.... My friend's fone kept ringing off the hook as everyone knew about this but me :( they all wanted to know if I said yes... errrrmm of course I did. Dinner was perfecto! I had my worst date with him when I farted and you cringed..I also had my best date with him and I look forward to spending everyday with him for the rest of my life :D ..Oh the wedding is in June' Ebony's Comment: Random but girl ur life is like the movies still :P'

'I went to spend the weekend at my boyfriend's house and on Friday night we had a take out then watched a movie and subsequently, went to bed. On Saturday we woke up and went to have breakfast at a pancake house (yes he pampers me and allows me to be lazy SOMETIMES not always). we came back home watched something and by 4ish I was guessing it was time for lunch so I was going to warm some of the leftovers from the night before and he said no. I relaxed while he made lunch - just putting this out there my boyfriend hardly ever cooks or should I be more specific and say he doesn't cook at all :). He knows how but he simply doesn't, so I was a bit shocked when he said he was cooking lunch... I was already scared of the taste but when they make an effort like that, its best you rather act excited than show your doubts. Anyhoo, he made some fried rice and chicken and "oh my!" the food tasted oh so well especially the chicken... I'm not even going to lie it was on point and lunch was like the 3rd date in 2 days but it was absolutely perfect. He's A* for effort and A** for taste made it the best indoors date for me... While I tried breaking his record on sunday morning with breakfast, it was ofcourse copied so the effect wasn't as good'

Drumroll for mine please...lol Although I was not proud to tell you which one of the worst dates was for me (hehehe); I wont even hesitate for this...you have to know the person it happened to. lol. My best date so far... hands down has to be horse riding in the stables at Dulwich... Just when you think guys are running out of ideas, just when you start questioning their creativity someone shocks you. They let you know that they are not only creative but they are creative lol u get what I mean right?!? And of all the dates my friends have been on, I still think MY horse riding was the best :p. Sorry I'm not saying the story :D cos it says best date and answer is 'horse riding'. I can say this though, the effort a guy puts makes all the difference. When he said horse riding I wasn't enthusiastic, in fact I was hoping he'ld cancel but when we got to Dulwich and we were on the horses, the talk, scenery, everything around was just wow! I was just like spontaneity is and can be great! Oh I typed in black this time 

Best Worst Dates

I'm smiling typing this blog...the sun must be shining outside..oh yes it is!!!

I'm also talking to a friend on the phone and I'm not concentrating...I've said "pardon" and "oh yh...I get" and randomly laugh and he still doesn't get that I'm not listening. I guess I might be good at multi tasking or my friend is not really bothered that I have asked him to repeat a sentence more than once...:D. No I' not mean, my friend would understand why I'm not listening I hope...

Anyways I was having a conversation with another friend and we were talking about worst and best dates ever and I thought 'why not blog it'. So I decided to ask my friends to tell me of their best and worst date experiences. I'll start with this 'worst' dates in this blog and would have a second part for best dates.

' I went on a date with a guy that had been on the radar for sometime...Ebony believe me when I say we went to a really fine restaurant on Baker Street. So obviously I pictured in my head that it would be an enjoyable date seeing as we were both dressed nice and the journey to our destination was pretty cool. Good music, we laughed, and talked. We got down at the car park and trust me I wasnt expecting it to be like the movies or like the old days where he opens the car door for you...but this brother started walking a bit ahead of me. I know I really looked lovely so why was he walking fast....We got to the restaurant and less than 20mins into the conversation he said "so why are you single"?!?..erm becos I am..problem?!? I thought as much.. Anyhoo brother started lamenting about his ex girlfriend and how he cant trust girls...girls are mean..girls cheat. I wasnt even gonna try to defend girls cos I knew right there and then there was no second or future dates. Struck me as a whiner, a cissy and someone with a whole lot of baggage and there's no way I'll be the baggage carrier'

'I was 19..I had just met this guy walking to the stores and I know I wasnt looking my best but he managed to get me with his words..he offered to drop me home and I said no..he seemed so impressed obviously 19 at the time meeting a 26 year old was a big deal and the comments that I was so naive were the only things that stuck. He asked me out on a date...stoked, I told my girlfriends even guy friends and all that cared to know. He picked me up at 7pm, ride was amaze balls for one hour we seemed to be going to a set restaurant...we got there and it was fully booked of course i wasnt embarrassed but I was feeling a bit weird like we seriously had to wait. We went back to the car where he started trying to kiss me almost immediately and feel on me..eurgh..the I was saved by the bell, my phone rang and my mum said she wanted me to meet and auntie somewhere *oh S***...he was soooo furious and kept saying arent I old enough blah blah blah!!! I figured when I was more mature that he knew the restaurant wasnt going to happen that's why he didn't book a table...but he also knew that I wouldn't go home with him so the car idea was his best bet! Worst date ever thank God for the mother's call!'

'I farted whilst on a 3rd date with this one guy....yh you can cringe again cos I just did replying you. But he's my baby now and we get married in June :p..That's what you call flaws and all but it was my worst date ever cos I couldnt bring myself to feel comfortable for the rest of the afternoon' *cringe*

'Worst date?? for real...the date never happened...he stood me up and I was all dressed up waiting for a call'

' I met this beaut when I was home for the holidays, when they say "gentlemen", believe me there are only few...there were no silly lines or comments just naturally natural which I totally digged....Anyhoo he asked what I wanted to do one night and my reply was I dunno...he asked if I had eaten and my reply was no cos i wasn't too hungry.....to which he said "cool! I know the best place"..got dressed and off we went. My gosh when I tell you it was one of them joints where you had to be a member I was most certainly impressed, at first I was like "ok not bad"..we got in sat down by the fish pond and ordered drinks and some fried snails and gizzard..."you are not too hungry right"?!? I replied "hmmnhmmn this should do' he said. One moment it was all smiles and laughter and before I knew it a rat ran across the room..I jumped up like "serious wtf??? a rat"?!?.. I didnt hesitate to express myself..he was so calm and said I was acting too stush...Yes I've seen a rat before but yo dude!!! in a restaurant errrr nah... I was put off by that and kept talking instead of eating or drinking..like for real what if they had loads of rats in the kitchen..Just as I was calm another fat one ran under our table and that was it for me... I screamed like someone who was mental..people were looking at me like I was weird and they were used to that stuff. I stood up and walked out...we argued the whole journey back and I went home asking everyone if I overreacted.. I don't know if thats what made our relationship dwindle but it was a contribution for sure'

I couldn't blog all I had but these I thought were quite hilarious...or rather funny! Btw My friend spoke for 26mins and I didnt have a clue what he was on about :(

Happy Mother's Day

'Happy Mother's day' Mummy... Words fail me: I cant even begin to express my love for this woman or how much I love her but she is an absolutely amazing woman and she rocks. Growing up, I didn't quite understand her strengths but I've come to realise how strong and beautiful she really is.

She is a rare breed and even if I had as many tongues as I had strands of hair on my head, it still wouldn't be enough in thanking God for making me hers. Some people say their moms are their best friends, I wouldn't say the same. The term 'good friend' would be more appropriate cos she never hesitates to remind me she is the 'mother' in the friendship :)... She reads my blog sometimes -so mummy if u see this, I love you. No matter how much she screams, rants and raves (with good reason) she still gives the best advices and never fails to protect. 

A few of her popular sayings include: " Don't compare yourself with other people' 'Don't use other people's achievement as a benchmark for urself', and the most importantly 'Always put God first'. She's very wise isn't it? :) 

The world is a more beautiful place with her in it and the love she consistently gives make all the difference.

I love her so much and I pray God grants her heart desires and more.  

Yes Or True

Remember when I put up a post 'Wifey 101: Supply and Demand'...written by a friend supporting guys and all?!? Well, I have written something some may not entirely agree on...and I was gonna put a lil disclaimer before, cos I wasn't too sure if I was ready to share this. Oh well its a thought, no need to disclaim it so here it goes!

Well... first, it is quite irritating when I hear young men of 24 or 25 or even 27 considering marriage. Don’t get me wrong though! It’s when these guys are still living with their parents having no prospects for jobs that upset me the most. It even gets worse... I think those currently enrolled in the NYSC programme who earn just a few thousands should be slapped and the girls who cheer them on or are eagerly waiting to accept their proposals should be ambushed...lol. I don’t mean to come across as intolerant or brash; I just think marriage in itself comes with a million and one problems so why add to the list, the challenges and discomfort that lack of money breeds. I mean marriage is a different ball game. 

I have however observed a pattern. I noticed that on the average, Yoruba young men tend to be lazy. My premise is based on the fact that their peers in other cultures are burdened with paying exorbitantly before getting a bride and as such work twice as hard to alteast pay-off the associated costs. I have come across a good number of Yoruba *sorry to hurt feelings* guys who have no issues living off their girlfriends or wives. They are the ones who support phrases like ‘couples should grow together’ and I agree but does it mean that when one marries a more responsible working class male who can conveniently take care of his family, they are not growing together?!?... (hmmm... smh). My point is, I sincerely believe a guy who is seriously considering settling should ask himself a few questions and the very most important ones being: If my wife doesn’t work or is unable to support the family financially, what sort of life would I be able to give my family? What quality of education would my children get? Would it always be a case of something has to be sacrificed for a need to be met etc...?  If you ask me, it’s not asking too much. Its not even about being a gold digger, its just what it is.

Then of course, I am aware that some guys actually work their as* off but still don’t earn so much... 'What then' you may ask?!  

The conclusion is that everyone should understand themselves well enough to know under what circumstance they can or cannot cope because there’s no point giving any guy a hard time when you knew his situation but still agreed to go on with it. Truth is, circumstances do vary for different people and one's choice doesn’t make them a saint and another a snob because we never can tell what past experiences have informed each person’s judgement. Just to be clear on my point of view, it would be good you understand that my focus is on marriage and not a relationship

Am i right or am i right :) what do you think?!