To Talk or Not to Talk ?

I was having a conversation with a couple of friends last week and we talked about a few things which led up to a discussion on cheating partners in relationships. I've always had a cheating conversation with a guy usually so this was quite different.

Anyhoo, the main question was: 'Would you tell your friend if you caught their partner cheating?' I was going to ask guys this just to see if we differed in opinions but I haven't done so. I guess this will be a platform for me to know what guys' thoughts on this would be ? So do tell !

I have agreed not to say my friends' opinions on this also, so I'll only highlight my thoughts on it and my answers when I was asked. Our close friend's boyfriend has cheated on her multiple times, with not one girl, not two but a few. I cannot judge her because she has taken him back on different occasions, I mean, I sometimes wonder what type of love they share that makes her go back but nonetheless I do not judge -that's beside the point! The last time he cheated, my friend decided to tell her because she knew the girl who he had been with.

Last we heard, he was a changed man so she couldn't wrap her head around the reason he would do something like that again. She cried on the phone, eventually hung up to sort it out with her boo.  Long story short, she's still with him and she said she doesn't like it when people are jealous of her relationship and just because certain people are single doesn't mean they should tear down what she has (fair enough). So that question came up in our conversation as a result of this.

The 3 things I would do if I caught or knew my friend's partner is cheating:

1) The level of our friendship would determine whether or not I would tell them. If it’s a close friend I'll opt to tell and I have done so before. I felt bad at the end cos it ended their relationship and I sorta blamed myself. I mean, who told me to carry such bad news but I did it for the better good and now my friend is with better, which is all that matters at the end.

2). If it were someone like the friend who said people were jealous of her relationship, Nne! I will keep shut; no word will come out of me whatsoever. Some friends are better off learning their lessons without interferences. (Experience is the best teacher). Although that might sound mean, I'd rather come across as mean than be seen as a jealous person. A guy I used to like made a pass at my friend, but she thought I was too into him to tell me. She only told me when she was sure I wasn't interested in him anymore. Which takes me to my last point.

3). If I know my friend is really head over heels in love with their partner, I would confront the cheating party (which may not work in all cases for different reasons you may think of). Then start making little side comments like 'u can do better', 'there's just something about your partner that doesn't sit well with my spirit', 'the dynamics between you guys is a bit off', 'I had a dream' lololol (I won't go that far). Just little side comments till the cheating party decides to confess or not. In my own case, my friend made me see a lot of his flaws and I started to lose interest.

So what would you do if you knew your friend's partner was cheating on them ? Gosh I used the word friend too many times in this post.

Random thought: Working with female species can be some sort annoying especially when they are the bosses.