Diary of a Single Girl: 2

So we became official and I told him I recently got out of a relationship and so wouldn’t want to rush things to which he agreed and promised to treat me like an egg in his words! Obviously I was happy! I was particular about not rushing things as I wanted to be sure he wasn’t just a rebound guy. I talked about him so often that anyone that knew me at the time knew that I was so in love with him *huge grin*.

Now the real story officially begins here……

My new boyfriend wasn’t a phone or chatty person I mean he does have a bb but we never chatted for long. The longest we've had never exceeded 5mins (except once when we spoke for 38mins : D). He called quite often; up to 5 times in a single day and we would see once or twice during the week depending on how our schedules were. I must add, he had a tasking job and was almost always busy so maybe that’s why phone convos were never long. But what of nights and weekends right? I just didn't get that bit. I never mentioned it to him cos I figured he's not a phone person and he did mention the chat thing to me before anyways. On a second thought, "for crying out loud, I’m your girlfriend you should want to talk to me all the time and for as long as possible when we do talk." I was also busy myself and besides, what did it matter? I knew I loved him and he loved me too (or so I thot). But I gradually began to wonder why our convos never lasted long. I would often try to make him stay on the phone and my man will just as quickly come up with "there’s work in the a.m so we need to go to bed…." (hmmm... really?) So I let it sly.

The biggest problem started 2 months into the relationship when he went on a work trip for about 2 weeks. During this time, I was going thru "stuff" and needed him there more than ever before. He didn’t call or message and when he did, it wasn’t anything to be happy about. Then, he returned and didn’t as much as contact me until 2days after he had arrived. The funny part was that he saw nothing wrong in what he had done but claimed he had tried calling me when he arrived but couldn’t get thru *obvious lie*. I made no fuss about it… I sent him messages telling him how I felt and the way he was acting or not acting and he didn’t respond to them. He would totally ignore my messages :( (read and not respond) and sometimes responded only after I consistently messaged him… not what you’re thinking! I just think it’s rude to ignore ur girlfriend’s messages. I eventually conveyed my concerns to him. It's only logical to want to know where I stand with him and make him aware of how I did not feel we were in a relationship. He then cut me short saying his environment was noisy and would call me to discuss further *imagine* We never had that conversation despite my constant pushing for us to talk so i guess it was obvious and accordingly, I figured I already had my answer.

I then traveled but couldn't get to see him before I left. A week later, he started messaging apologising for his actions and inactions etc …this is where I begin to feel like a bawse… to have the same guy grovelling when a few weeks ago it was the reverse…I didn’t respond to any of his messages the whole time I was away *taste a bit of your own medicine*. On my return, I felt sorry for him and agreed to discuss since he claimed he was going through "stuff" at the time and was ready to explain. He went on about how I made him a better man * a song by musiq soul child*, how my smile lights up the whole room *taylor swift*, how he was a changed man *chris brown*, and finally he doesn’t believe no one can love him better *dondria* never use lines of my favourite songs.

After all the apology I told him I needed time to think so he won’t feel his lyrics went to waste. Told him words are cheap, actions are expensive; don’t speak about it until you can’t afford it…cos words without actions are totally meaningless. After all his and my speech, he still remained his same old self.

Truth is my heart really does love him even if I act like I put up such an act…just wish he could be the best boyfriend possible…

I’m lost for ideas and simply clueless on what to do and how to manage all this :(