My Friend Found Her Happy

I was having a conversation with my very good friend today, we randomly talked about blogs and in her words she's like "for the amount of stuff you write I'm surprised you don't blog often". I thought to myself "true stuff"!! I mean I have thoughts almost everyday to write; I blog on my phone, I have notepads full of writings but I don't just blog. 


We spoke further and I realised that even if I wrote all these stuff I'm somewhat not brave enough to put them up. My heart is simply too afraid to be an open book...considering that I over think every single thing, my friends say I do it to the extreme. Well all I can say is my brain likes to be put to work...loool! My sister  says I'm secretive and I can understand her becos people only know as much as I tell them. In addition cos I fear I'll become almost too transparent to people I'm very selective with what I put up, this is  why I tend write fictitiously or other people's stories. I also happen to be better at writing in the first person cos I'm not really good at the whole "he said, she said, he did business"! But it would be good news to know that I'm working on it. I'm also working on writing more often...no promises but I would try :). 

Anyhoo! moving on to something else beside my excuses....I wrote this because I met this amazing someone in 2010 and in a year of being with her I somewhat changed her and she did me too... I started looking at life in a different way. However, this post is written in the first person detailing how she found her happy becos I know she did and I'm happy I was used in the process. Here it goes:

For most, transitioning takes a gradual and often subtle process. But for a few others, it's strangely abrupt and more like a rude awakening to reality. As a matter of fact, it happens to them that they imagine that they've grown up almost suddenly! As it relates to myself, you'll imagine I'm one of the gradually evolving ones... (and ooh... maybe you think I belong to the other category); the truth is, I'm amazingly a bit of both. For quite sometime now, I realised that I've suddenly become more mature, more sensing and unbelievably relaxed and calm. Truth is; I have found my happy! Believe you me, its taken me a long long time to get to this point *x_x*. I must confess, it's been quite a journey: one that demanded a shedding of previous ideologies and embracing a paradigm shift.

It all began when my moods were annoyingly getting the better of me; I was largely irritable and cared less the effect it had on those who truly cared about me. It felt like I was in a pit and was screaming to get out but no one would help me. I didn't hate the world but I was very very close!.lol. Then I took to retreating to my shell, entertaining myself with my thoughts and trust me... those thoughts weren't delightful either. I mean, I was a hot mess! I had almost concluded that my situation was surely a glimpse of how the rest of my life would pan out was when the intervention came. I was introduced to a popular tv program by one of my dear friends and although I initially rebelled, I found myself loving it and being more consistent in watching it than those who had initiated it. Anyways.... it taught lots of truths which I believe sipped right through the cracks in my life and BAM! here I am: all new and improved :). You are probably thinking it's only temporary or just a phase. I pray not and I've been praying not every night ever since :D

Come to think of it, it wasnt entirely sudden. my subconscious played a massive role I guess and when it had overflown with wisdom was when it began to manifest on the outside...lol. In some other ways, I have simply evolved; almost similar to the story of the butterfly. I mean, I have been educated, schooled and now on my way to being a professional. I have seen babies born, the young grow and the old pass on to a better place. I have loved, I still love and I hope I never stop. Although I'm still someone's child, I am also a sister and a big auntie to some (Yeah!) and who knows how soon, I'll have a little one of my own and that very wonderful young man next to me. The very one I want and praying for.

When you read this, I hope you think I did a good job at capturing your experience. And of course it wouldn't be me without a smart comment *I know you love me* :p