Different But Not Less

Hey guys I'm back again... sorry for the long wait, I had to ensure this piece was well tied together.

Since I was born I have always been treated different, and I finally came to a realisation that I was. Growing up my parents didn’t treat me any different from my siblings, but in school I was… I wasn’t allowed to play like most kids were, I wasn’t allowed to swim for long and my favourite; I drank more water than anyone I knew.

I had a health condition that couldn’t be treated but could be managed and whilst growing up my parents did the best job possible to manage it with help from my maker of course. The health condition was my little secret and I wanted everyone to treat me just like they treated everybody around me *normal*. I was old enough to start having male friends and subsequently, a series of counselling sessions at the clinic about who I could and could not see followed; I was also told to be more open about it in relationships. I previously denied its facts and had lied to many people about it in the past. Eventually, I overcame my fear and finally told my friends who were totally shocked by the way.  Thing is: I had been told so many negative stories about people with the same health condition and I was scared the same might just happen to me *which was only a normal thought*.

I was in my first relationship where I was open about me from the very start, but the only relationship where I was treated as less because I was different. I guess everything was just wrong… I had a crisis and he got cold feet. Technically when people say they are in love with you, you take it all in and for all its worth, believe every word because u probably feel the same way about them. However, you never really know the strength of their affection until life throws them some form of test – a test which could only be surmounted, by a certain level of maturity and the most sincere of emotions.

Funny thing is I was in the hospital for two weeks and not as much as a single visit from him *the one who had professed such depth of love*. You would agree with me that even the most platonic of friends would have at the least paid a visit… *its only common sense if u ask me*.  I guess he was young and it was too much for him to handle at the time; I mean there’s no saying what I can handle as well lol J.  To cut the long story short, his parents said he couldn’t see a ‘sick girl’ but I can understand that they only had his best interest at heart. I was told to defend or explain myself to them and tell them what their son was getting into, imagine??? . I cried myself to sleep so many nights because I had so many questions for God and my parents. I often asked nights and nights again “why me?” “what did I do to deserve this??” “Am I really your child???” Why couldn’t God just take it all away???? I slept some nights hoping to wake up to a new status and thank God I have… but of course at the time, my parents took the brunt of it with me constantly probing and blaming them for this *now I feel bad* J cos Lord knows how much I love them.

"Why didn’t anyone tell me it would be this difficult getting through life" was my constant thought; the words ‘sick girl’ simply couldn’t be erased.  Finally I realised it was an unhealthy relationship, one where the last penny from my emotional bank account was withdrawn * you were meant to laugh*… I became aware of the fact that though I was different I was not less, peculiar but not fragile and as whole as every other person not needing the slightest pity.  Despite challenges (just like everyone has once in a while) I have achieved remarkable measure of success *don’t go thinking now… I haven’t built a house neither have I bought a car, quit being shallow folks*. A success borne out of the treasures one finds in friendships, the unfailing support of family and the most amazing love from a God who is not only mindful of me but is my ever present help. I realise now I am blessed in more ways than one.