My mum was only 16 when she got
pregnant. I have always wondered what she was thinking when she let someone get
on top of her to get her pregnant. I have always wondered why I was the
spermatozoa that made it out of the millions or was it billions they said?
I also wondered why people said God
has a plan and even if I were a mistake, according to God's big plan I am
expected to believe that I wasn't. But clearly, I was. The way I saw it, only a
dumb person would think a mishap or an 'oops!' isn't a mistake.
My dad's family thought a baby
couldn't take care of another baby so they decided to take care of me. I didn't
see my mother till I was 15; when she was Ill and was going to pass.
She passed 2 days after I saw her
for the first time in 15 years. I went through so many emotions: anger, pain,
joy, bliss, happy, bitter, disappointed and the list goes on. I was
disappointed that she didn't make an effort to be involved in bringing me up. I
was happy because she made sure she saw me before she passed. However, my mum
was angry and happy. Happy to see me, but angry that I came and spoilt the good
thing she had with my dad. She asked me to forgive her and I did and I also
asked for her forgiveness even if I knew I shouldn't have apologised for her
thoughtless act of getting pregnant as a teenager.
When she passed, my dad thought it was
time to stop living with his uncle and sent for me to join him and his family
in England. I was going to live with people I had never met and a father I
never knew. I knew he paid all my fees as my uncle had said but that's all I
knew of him.
I moved in with my new family and I
was absolutely in love with my step siblings, the baby especially. My dad
started becoming violent towards me -I reminded him too much of my mum. I don't
know what it was about her that got him so angry but I know he hit me a lot, he
would hit me like he was fighting with his friend. He didn't hesitate to tell
me that his worse decision was bringing me over to England. I put my hands up,
sometimes I did have a terrible attitude but I don't think that was inevitable
because I was always reminded that it wasn't both their intention to have me.
Today, my dad hit me again and I
write from the hospital bed; where I am being treated for a head injury. The
police just got a statement from me (no I didn't call them, the neighbours did
). They want me to press charges but I don't know if I should. It is the right
thing to do but he has 3 other children who he loves dearly and a beautiful
wife who calms him down when he hits me. They keep asking if I need to see
someone who would advise me. I want him to pay for this by doing time but what
would you think about me ?
Nne... I'm also 'torn'! I want so much for him to pay but I wouldnt want to hurt his family while trying to get at him because the truth is, if tables were turned and I wasn't the 'abused' I would plead with my step-sister to forgive daddy and not send him to jail. The man certainly needs help and while some time behind bars may help teach him a valuable lesson; I'm not sure it would solve the underlying issues. My take on this: file for a 'divorce' from your dad. Tell the officers you wouldn't want to press charges but you do have an alternative and that you would rather pursue to be adopted by another relative/guardian (please, let it be someone outside his family k...) Nne.... Tough one!
ReplyDeletePs. You've matured in your style of writing; read just like a favourite novel! *thumbs up* darl!
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm flattered.
DeleteI agree with you, however its always easier said than done, and what's to say life would be better off with a relative or guardian ? Tough one really.
The title Torn is really perfect for this story cos I don't even know the kind of advise to give gan. But lovely piece...waiting for your 1st novel. #wink
ReplyDeleteAwwwwwh.. thanks Toyo, Much appreciated.
DeleteIncredible piece of a more raging domestic violence becoming more rampant. For me this is a weak father, a hating one at that. Am much as I'd encourage justice, the african culture weaved in sentiments shows its ugly head again. Maybe, the best thing will be to get a restraining order while he gets help from his psychological problem.
ReplyDeleteThe man definitely needs help because he can start beating his own children as well. The girl needs to get a better family, its not her fault she was born. don't press charges but ensure the authorities get him to a Psychiatrist and she gets into proper foster care.
ReplyDelete